Welcome to my fun blog where I talk about me and what im upto and all the fun little colorful things in life. Thanks for visitiing and if you want to view some of my other works feel free to check out my other social media works.
Love is a very complex thing. Everyone experiences love differently, in their own way. But even when love hurts there are reasons to continue. Those reasons might not be understood by everyone. If I could only describe so effortlessly it would probally be described as a chaotic dance, and that dance only stops when one of the people involved stop moving. If you're going through any stage of love...hang in there or make a decision. remember love is a chaotic dance.
Currently, I'm dealing with my own trials and tribulations. They aren't easy...but even though I rely on his strength so much I hope he can rely on mine. Our relationship is messy; like I'm sure so many relationships are. I guess it boils down to their soul and how willing you are to connect to their soul.
I feel like I could write books and books on the subject and I'm pretty sure many people have tried. Love is one of the emotions that we feel as human beings that is so chaotic and complicated that it's hard to grasp until your currently battling through it.
But If I can do this so can other people. that's my biggest faith in the world and in peoples capabilities.
and even though I'm so lost in the mass of thorns from my love and his...Keeping a smile on his face is more important than anything to me...can others relate? I'm sure they can...if they cant...keep trying.
Love makes you desperate but it also changes people in many ways. in negative and positive. but it's like the flow of yin and yang there has to be a balance to it all.
I might write more on this when I can think a little more clearly...but for now just a small post of the subject.
I think the hardest part about being a writer is loosing inspiration; It's like I can stare at a screen all day and not come up with a thing to write down, it's frustrating, exhausting, and Depleting. It's even more so when people tell you to just sit down and push through it. Like mother fuckers that isn't going to help, if I could just push through it I definitely would. The only thing that will ever help here is to win back that dying inspiration that inspires your thoughts onto paper. You might as well be running into circles otherwise.
That's one of the main things that stops writers I think, that kinda stops us from constantly throwing content out there to our fans. Like believe us, we love our fans and would love nothing more than to has out beautiful works of art of our content and worlds we create for you people.
Being a writer is a lot harder then I think people give it credit for, sure its easy to just sit down and put stuff down on paper (Or word if your tech savvy), and just get it all out. Yet to do it professionally there is so much editing and creative spark that just needs to happen. Without that, you really have no consistency.
not sure what else to say for that...but I wish I could write more. I mean really if I could sit down and just write my heart out every day I would, It's definitely one of my greatest passions. Maybe its the depression? or Anxiety? Maybe its the long hours staring endlessly at a white screen that makes it so difficult to produce content.
But what do you guys think? Give me some feedback. I'd love to know your guy's thoughts!
So, I've been working on my modeling a bit more lately and have a few new places I'm selling my content on Just wanted to update you guys on all the new things happening with me in my modeling world! If you're a fan of my modeling, thank you for all your support! You guys are like my lifeblood.
So let's get into it! To my fans, If your a photographer interested in my modeling and want to hire me to model for you please feel free to follow me or hire me on my ModelMayhem Profile @ModelMayhem/LeylahJohnstonthere you will find more of my modeling and be able to contact me and work with me.
To My Fans who wanted copies of my pictures, shoots, and amateur content and want to perv to your own set of my works, I have been uploading set of "Boxes" filled with the pictures on my BentBox profile. I'm working on uploading new boxes every two weeks! Find me there at @Bentbox/LeylahJohnston
To All the male Perv's fans out there that are just looking to see some of my daily amateur sexiness, you can now Subscribe to my monthly only fans account and for $20 a month you can get my daily lewd pictures @Onlyfans/LeylahJohnston Those are my three main modeling sites right now boys and girls If you have any questions or want to reach out feel free to message me :) I'm always down to answer any fanmail I get.
So hi everyone! God, I haven't made a post on here for such a long time! What have you all been up to? I really need to start blogging here a lot more! But yeah, Between trying to start and grow my own business, creating a website, getting my books out there, dealing with boyfriend troubles and living situations...It hasn't left much time to really write on here lately. I'm gonna try to fix that for all my fans, As well and put way more content up for you people ;P
Big news also! I'm starting a new short story book series Called "The adventures of Iaian and Nymphis", I'm working on getting more of my stories out there and me out there and working on so much more! So don't think I have just abandoned you all *Wink*
but realness for a second. Sitting down at my dads listening to Garbage's song "your so fine." and my mind really just drifts back...I use to be so much happier, when did life strip me from that happiness? when did I lose all the love, passion and beauty that was me? it seems as the more life goes on the more I'm losing myself. I doubt so much these days, So much of my self is filled with doubt and caution. After being hurt so many time and for so long...I think it seriously starts to warp you a little bit. I miss watching anime, I miss being bubbly and outspoken, I miss doing all the silly and creative things that was me.
Am I still that person?
If so, where did It all go? Can I find myself again? Can I give myself the strength one more time to be me...is that the point to it all? There are more questions then I have answers to and I'm staring into the darkness of that abyss and just waiting. The abyss stares back at me waiting in return.
I look back at the people in my life and I wonder where they will take me this year...where will life lead me to? Here is to hoping that it's not a big as a mess as it was last year. So if your reading this...wish me luck. lol, Hopefully, I can survive it.
I like my Demon. I hold her close. I must say At first I hated her. But she has never been anything but out for my safety. Which is stand to me. How could she not hate me? But she is so warm. She is bitchy, She is a cocky bad ass with flames in her eyes and a touch like alive wire. Keeping up with her sometimes is like trying to run a marathon with pro's.
I feel I will never catch up. But sometimes she just takes control when she is frustrated and I end up impressing people. I've glared at her so much for it but I actually really appreciate it. I wouldn't have held on with out her and i doubt I tell her that very much.
I"m thinking of you every now and again. I Must be crazy cause I'm in love with a handsome guy like you. Yet, oh how painful is that word; You love someone else. I've faded into the shadows of the back of your mind. We are with each other every day, yet I feel so far away. You say we are just friends, yet why did you kiss me? Why did you rise hope that was dashed from the start? I doubt this human heart of my mine can be convinced once more that I love you. This dose of obsession has ended, and with it all the kindness I have for this world. I'll never let My spirit give up or give in. It remains but this heart of love has faded, its the strength of my love for you that keeps me in your shadow.
People simple reason what ever away. When they cant deal with the truth they simple reason it. The reason is a lie unto itself. But why should this matter? People will always have there opinions dead set in concrete. Sometimes I wonder if people's reason's are simple as fear itself. Watching people along the street or out and about your mind can wonder to such trivialized idea's. you can watch as people think, the way their mouth moves, or how the eyes can entrance and show so many secrets. Its in the way they walk, the way they breath. Maybe its their very soul they expose for the world to glance at. who really knows the reason beyond those placid faces.